


Triple Date

by violasarecool



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aromantic, Aromantic Jake English, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Gen, canon level swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 01:37:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4203018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violasarecool/pseuds/violasarecool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>originally intended to be the prelude to something longer, the kids are going on a triple date before they get together with everyone else for a christmas party. fluffy domestic couples getting ready for their day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Triple Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nathaylee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathaylee/gifts).



> this is a gift for my FAV PERSON nat :333 sooo i started writing this literally over half a year ago because i was like hMMM it's nearly nat's birthday wouldn't it be cool if i wrote her a thing with her fav pairings... then like all my best plans i just never finished it hahha, and i'm only rly posting it now because i'm probs not going to do anything more on it. so um... happy late/early birthday?? :D

"You're shitting me." Karkat watched as Roxy scrolled down her Facebook newsfeed; she paused on a selfie of her and Jane from a year ago, revived from the annals of time by Dave liking it. She clicked like for good measure.

"Nope, I am sooo serious right now." He gave her a look, and she met it with a grin. "Your moody face is not going to change my mind, I haven't seen Janey or Dirk in ages! Not to mention Dave and Jade."

He frowned. "Jane I'll concede, but you saw Dave  _three days ago._ "

She closed her laptop. "For like half an hour. Anyway, what's the big deal, we're all gonna be getting together anyway, why not just start a bit earlier??" She heaved herself upright, and sauntered into the kitchen.

"Because we're all getting together later," he muttered, following. He watched as she pulled the carton of eggs out of the fridge, holding out a hand to grab them as she hefted them at him. "Are you trying to destroy all the good shit left in the fridge?" he demanded, flinching as she tossed a container of leftover mushrooms on the counter. It slid to a stop centimetres from the edge.

"Breakfast," she said, leaning in for a kiss as she flipped a ziplock containing several frozen hamburgers onto the counter.

He slid his arms around her waist as she attempted to pull away. "You're not as good at distractions as you think you are," he said.

She laughed, and tapped his nose. "Please, I'm the  _best_  at distactions."

"Right," he said, his mouth tugging up into an almost smile as Roxy tugged herself free to grab a frying pan from the cupboard. "A  _triple_  date, though?"

"Double dates are for noobs," she said, setting the pan on the stove.

He wrinkled his nose. "Three of our friends in the same room is a hazard, six of us is a godawful idea."

Roxy cracked an egg into a bowl. "You know what they say," she said, pulling out a whisk, "two's a couple, three's a hazard, five's a party, and six or more'll have the neighbours calling the police to find out why there's a band of kids dancing the macarena on the roof in halloween costumes."

"I'm pretty goddamn sure Christmas is the next season on the calendar, not Halloween." He opened the spice cupboard and retrieved the chives jar.

"That's why everyone's confused!"

"I'm still confused," he grumbled, handing her the jar.

She took it, and sprinkled green bits liberally into the liquified egg. She lifted the bowl, wafting it under her nose. "Mm, essence of chicken fetus."

He stepped back. "As desperate as I am to sample your deep-fried fetus burger, I'm going to have to cut this de-fucking-lightful conversation short to go put clothes on."

She shrugged. "Your loss," she called as he retreated.

* * *

Dave woke to a shirt landing on his face. "Hrmph?" He batted it off him with one hand.

"Hm?" Jade pulled a sweater over her head, turning to look at him. She registered the shirt on the floor, and giggled. "Did that land on you?" He grunted. "Oops," she said.

He rolled over, shielding his face from the bright light. "Wassth' time?"

"Ten fifteen," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed to pull on socks. "We really slept in."

"Mm." He rubbed a hand over his face, yawning. "What time are we being picked up?"

She glanced at the alarm clock. "In... an hour-ish? Wait, no, an hour and fifteen minutes, but we should be ready to leave in an hour."

"Cool." Dave stretched against the bed, foot nudging against Jade from under the blankets. She leaned her hand back on his foot, trapping it.

"Are you planning on getting up?" she teased.

He stretched his arms out behind him. "Why? We have plenty of time. I could be ready in half the amount of time we have. Hell, I could build a sick snow catapult  _and_  shower and eat in an hour."

"Are we planning an ambush?" Jade asked, raising her eyebrows.

Dave gestured outside at the white street. "What else is all this snow for?"

She patted his leg, and stood up. "Walking through, mostly, but if you can get one over on your brother, I'll be impressed."

He narrowed his eyes. "He's not any better at it than me," he called, as she left the room. "I'm better at snowball fights!" Down the hall, he heard the bathroom door click shut. "Nothing to say, huh?" he asked the empty room. "That's cause I'm right."The phone made a crackly sound, then started to ring. "That wasn't an invitation for you to join in," he told it, then reluctantly reached out an arm for the handset.

"Jane," he read from the small screen as he picked up. "Sup."

"Dave! Hello." Her voice was thin and tinny coming from the shitty phone, and he shrugged and clicked speakerphone before setting it down on the bedside table and leaning back against the pillows.

"You left already or something?" Dave asked. "I thought we had a fuckton of time still."

"Oh, no, not even close." There was a thump on the other end. "I just haven't heard from Dirk yet, I was wondering if you had."

He shook his head. "Nope, dude's been radio silent since I logged off last night, I figured he's just practising fencing, or playing with his puppets, or, I dunno, some other niche as hell hobby he's picked up."

Jane laughed. "He's been adding to his sunglasses collection recently if that counts."

"What, more shades? Anime look not working out for him?"

"No, I believe they're all just as triangular."

Dave snorted. "Fucking amazing."

Down the hall, the bathroom door clicked open, and footsteps made their way toward the bedroom. "Who called?" Jade asked, stopping in the doorway.

"Jane," Dave said, nodding at the phone.

"Hello," Jane said, and Jade jumped, then laughed.

"Hey, Jane!" She skipped over to the bed and flopped down next to Dave. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing too urgent, I was simply wondering if either of you had heard from Dirk."

Jade frowned. "He hasn't texted you today?"

"No, not yet."

"He's probably out buying you flowers," Jade said.

Dave shot her a look. "Don't you think that's giving him a hell of a lot of credit?"

She snorted. "I'm not saying it was his idea, Roxy totally told him to, that's the only reason I'm suggesting it." Jane giggled. "He's just being too much of a  _coolkid,_ " she said, nudging Dave with a grin.

"I hear it runs in the family," Jane said.

"I'm sensing sarcasm," Dave said, "in that literally no one uses those two words together seriously, like no one has ever actually said the words together and meant it except maybe Terezi, but I wouldn't exactly use her as a measure of coolness, the kid eats chalk for fuck's sake."

"I thought you said you were joking about that," Jane said, sounding slightly alarmed.

" _Anyway,_ " Jade said, "how many dates have you two been on, four?"

"Three."

"Uh huh. Give him some time to get better at the whole  _communication_  thing, I mean, you're dating a Strider," she said, grinning at Dave, who pulled a face at her, "it might take a bit."

"Mm. Though one would think at least in the realm of  _planning_  he could be a tad more timely."

"Well, yeah." Jade checked the clock. "I haven't had breakfast yet, you wanna skype while I do that?"

"Sure," Jane said, and Jade reached for her computer. "Will you call or should I?"

Jade picked up the phone, contemplating the screen. "Umm... Let me set my laptop up in the kitchen, then I'll call you."

"Alrighty. Talk to you in a few minutes."

* * *

"Red or pink."

"What?" Jake's voice blasted out of his phone, and Dirk cringed, holding it back from his head.

"Flowers, dude. Help me out here."

"Er." There was a pause, and Dirk stared down at the store display in front of him, buckets of flowers arranged across a wooden table. "I don't know," Jake said, "red? Why don't you ask Roxy?"

Dirk fiddled with his shades. "That would make this the third time I've called her this morning."

"Blimey. I see." Dirk glanced up as the shop assistant walked by; she smiled at him, and he gave her a terse nod. "Well, not to pull a sodden hunk of melted cheese out of my knickers, but really Dirk, I'm pretty sure she'd love anything you gave her."

"Not to..." Dirk shook his head. "Nevermind." He reached down, and tugged a bundle of red flowers—tulips, the sign read—out of a bucket. "You sure?"

Jake laughed. "Dude, if she breaks it off with you because you bought her the wrong colour of flowers I am calling scurrilous shenanigans and possibly calling in an official investigation to see who this strange damsel is that you're dating and what she's done with our Jane!"

"Hah." Dirk tapped the flowers against his thigh, the plastic scrunching loudly.

"You'll be fine, Dirk." Jake sounded almost amused. "It'll be just like all your other dates, just with more people involved."

"That is exactly the problem," Dirk muttered.

"Why? They all know each other already. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Practically anything."

" _Please_ , I am calling total bee-ess!!" The speaker crackled as a huff of air hit the mouthpiece. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go woo the fair maid! Buy her red  _and_  pink flowers if that's what it takes, gosh darnit, but don't just mope around like a sagging balloon!!"

"Guess I'd better get a balloon pump while I'm here, then," Dirk said, glancing around to locate the cash register.

"Excellent plan," Jake said. "Although, with all that hot air you spout..."

"Harsh."

"I try my darnedest."

"Like hell you do." Dirk shifted the phone to his shoulder, digging for his wallet as he made his way to the cashier. "You're lucky you opted out of all of this romance shit," he said.

"I wouldn't exactly call it opting out," Jake said, "more like romance offered an all you can eat buffet, then put peanuts in every friggin' dish."

"Hot people with a side of anaphylactic shock," Dirk said.

"Ah, but if the capitalist brain-swindlers at the top of the romance industry have any say in it, they'll probably be coming out with an aromantic epipen any day now. ...Although, hold that thought, maybe an ice cream metaphor would have been more appropriate. Something about cones and slushies, or..."

Dirk's mouth twitched, and he stopped at the counter and set down the flowers, nodding at the cashier as he listened to Jake babble.  _Thank you,_  he mouthed, as she handed him his change. He picked up the flowers, and made his way to the door.

"Dirk? You there?"

Dirk started. "Yeah, sorry."

"It's all good, you've got your noggin full of piping hot Jane soup—" Dirk snorted. "Er, that is... you know!!"

"...Thanks."

"I know you're being sarcastic, but seriously, no problemo dude. Talk to you later?"

"Yeah. Later."

**Author's Note:**

> please _don't give me crit_ , constructive or not, even if you feel the need to point out a typo, i would appreciate it if you didn't. i do this for fun, and once i've posted something, i don't really want to think about it critically anymore. thanks.


End file.
